Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
