Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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