Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
