Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
