I could make wine with my vomit
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
