I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
