Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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