remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
