I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize