We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
