Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
