Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dicks are not precious.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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