i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So squirting runs in the family.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
