Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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