is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
