So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
