he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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