Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
