Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
