once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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