When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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