I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
