her vagine was all disorganized.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
