So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
