Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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