I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
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