you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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