is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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