Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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