mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I believe in your delicious
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
