i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
