Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
