I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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