i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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