Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
