lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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