it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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