ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
