Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
