If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
