One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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