I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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