If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on