Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen