That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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