he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it glows. i had to have it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
