How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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