dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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