Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
soo... how was my night?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize