anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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