Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
