hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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