I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just had sex bonerless
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize