just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize