My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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