That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
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No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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